A Parent’s Guide to Explaining Marriage to Children and Teens
God Created Our Bodies
Parents, sometimes we get awkward questions like, How can two people become one flesh? The Bible says exactly how two people can become one flesh. That’s where we need to go to in Genesis 2, where this incredible language is used. Scripture says that husband and wife become one flesh. And there’s a sense in which that’s a very powerful and vivid metaphor for their hearts uniting as one and for their wills uniting as one, but it goes deeper than just romantic metaphors.
What Scripture is talking about in the idea of being a one-flesh union is this idea that our bodies are physically made for one another. They’re made to fit with one another. When God establishes male and female in the very beginning of Scripture, in Genesis 1, tied to their maleness and femaleness is the ability for them to reproduce, and they reproduce in that romantic, intimate act that also makes them husband and wife.
And what makes marriage so profound is that it unites a man and a woman at the deepest levels of their being. It’s not just that they have the same affections for each other. It’s not just that they love being together. It’s that their bodies can uniquely fit together. And in that coming together, their marriage is made real. But in that same act, children can come forth.
What Do I Say When . . . ?
Andrew T. Walker, Christian Walker
In a world filled with cultural confusion, this book provides busy Christian parents with quick and trustworthy answers to questions their children may ask about life’s toughest topics, including abortion, sexuality, technology, political engagement, and more.
So you may be thinking, I do not want to have this conversation with my children. They are not ready to talk about this topic yet. And you’re right. Some kids are not ready to talk about this. And so you need to think about the age and developmental stage of your children and their maturity. So if you had a very young child—around four, five, or six—you would not bring some of these topics up. But there are really good biblical truths that they need to know, like the fact that God created us with different bodies. God created us to grow up to be mommies and daddies, have children, take care of them, and create families that bring God glory.
And once they move to the next stage of development—around eight, nine, or ten—you would start to bring in the understanding that because God created our bodies differently, we actually fit together. And that fitting together physically brings the ability to become mommies and daddies to children. Once our kids get to the pre-teen and teenage years, we do need to talk about the birds and bees honestly with them and we do have to embrace the awkwardness with our children. We need to be the ones as parents to have that conversation with them, or culture will be the one to do it for us. We need to talk about what sexuality is and that our bodies are good. God created our bodies for us. They are good.
It is good for them to fit together within the confines of marriage, which is God’s good, original natural plan. Marriage is good, and we create families with our bodies, and that brings glory to God. Marriage is good. It is good to be together as husband and wife within marriage.
Keep the conversation open and honest, especially with your preteens and teenagers. It’s very often that there may be sexual mistakes that are made. And so we want to, as parents, be forgiving and point them to Jesus’s forgiveness as well. So parents, embrace the awkwardness, be truthful, and be praying for your teenagers as well.
Andrew and Christian Walker are coauthors of What Do I Say When . . . ?: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Cultural Chaos for Children and Teens.
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