How Husbands Can Protect Their Wives from Burnout

Guard Her Rest and Give Her Help

Men tend to overlook their wives’ burnout. At least in my own case, I didn’t see it coming. So, keep your eyes open. Watch and listen for warning signs, and heed them.

One of the great things men can do is try and get home a bit earlier to help put the children to bed, help with bath time, with chores, and with other practical things. Even saying, “Honey, you go and have your quiet time now. I’ll look after the kids,” gives your wife a good half hour or so just to be quiet with God.

Reset

David Murray

Although burnout is growing increasingly common among men in ministry, it doesn’t have to be inevitable. Pastor and counselor David Murray offers men gospel-centered hope for avoiding and recovering from burnout, setting a more sustainable pace.

Be sure your wife gets a Sabbath each week. Sometimes, the men are having their day off, but the wives are still doing what they do every other day of the week. In some way, see that your wife also has that privilege, that gift of a day off.

Vacation comes into that as well. Vacations should be arranged in such a way that our dear wife also has a vacation and is not just doing exactly the same things, except in a different place, with less of the normal comforts.

It’s great to know it’s not just me and the Lord. I have my husband praying for me, too.

Share Your Burdens Then Leave the House

Be a good listener. Women like to talk. That’s just the way we’re wired, and we like to be listened to. Men don’t find it as easy to listen, don’t talk as much, and generally aren’t as relational.

In recognizing that, it can often lift the anxiety and pressure when a wife is allowed to off-load verbally and emotionally to a husband who listens well. That sense of shared burden and shared prayer gives women that extra boost to keep going. It’s great to know it’s not just me and the Lord. I have my husband praying for me, too.

Refresh

Shona Murray, David Murray

Writing to women in a busy, do-it-all culture, husband-and-wife team Shona and David Murray offer practical tips for avoiding and recovering from exhaustion, depression, and anxiety—centered on grace.

The other thing is joint activities. On a day off, it’s very tempting to just hang around the house. What tends to happen is that we all just do our own thing. I’ve often found David will say, "Hey, let’s go fishing. Let’s go to the beach. Let’s do something away from the house."

There might be a little bit of effort involved in getting ready, but the benefit is great. Once you leave the house and you’re out of the home’s four walls, you forget all the laundry, the clutter, and whatever else is on your to-do list. You’’ll come back refreshed.

It’s helpful every time we just go away for the day and do something different.

David Murray (PhD, Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam) has pastored four churches in Scotland and the USA. He is also a counselor, a regular speaker at conferences, and the author of several books, including Reset and Exploring the Bible. David has taught Old Testament, counseling, and pastoral theology at various seminaries.

Shona Murray is a mother of five children and has homeschooled for fifteen years. She is a medical doctor and worked as a family practitioner in Scotland until she moved to the United States with her husband, David.