Podcast: The Universal Struggle with Self-Control (Sharonda Cooper)
This article is part of the The Crossway Podcast series.
Why Is It So Hard to Have Self-Control?
In this episode, Sharonda Cooper shares practical strategies for developing self-control in key areas of life from fitness and eating habits to spiritual disciplines like prayer and Bible reading. She also offers insights into how setting meaningful goals and relying on the Holy Spirit can help us grow in our self-control, highlighting the vital importance of community as we seek to help one another follow Jesus more faithfully.
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Topics Addressed in This Interview:
- The Universal Struggle with Self-Control
- The Holy Spirit’s Role in Self-Control
- A Higher Goal
- Is Self-Control Easier for Some More than Others?
- Self-Control and Sexual Purity
- Self-Control and Our Speech
- Self-Control and the Spiritual Disciplines
- Advice for Those Who May Be Discouraged
01:20 - The Universal Struggle with Self-Control
Matt Tully
Sharonda, thank you so much for joining me on The Crossway Podcast.
Sharonda Cooper
Thank you for having me.
Matt Tully
The topic of self-control is one of those topics that I think for most of us is probably one that immediately elicits some kind of low level guilt or shame as we think about our own lives. We all have some area—or maybe areas—where we feel like I have room to grow in my self-control in this way. But it can sometimes be pretty hard to talk about even though it’s probably a universal experience. Can you resonate with that, that this can be a sensitive area for some reason?
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, it definitely is. And I think part of the reason that we experience that is we have this, whether we say it or not, we want to pretend like we have it all together, especially in the Christian world. I think we want to make it seem as though we can juggle all these balls and we can manage our lives really well. It’s hard to expose those things that are difficult. It’s hard to admit that you’re struggling in a particular area. There are certain sins that to be more acceptable than others.
Matt Tully
Yeah, like Respectable Sins, that classic book.
Sharonda Cooper
Yes, exactly. And I think with self-control the other thing about it is that a lot of times people feel as though it’s something that they should be able to muscle up. They should be able to figure it out and have more self-control. Whereas with other aspects of the Christian life, we know that they are simply given to us by the Lord. With self-control, it sort of feels like, Well, if I can’t stop eating potato chips, that’s on me. Why can’t I do that?
Matt Tully
Because other people I know can.
Sharonda Cooper
Exactly. And then there’s that guilt and the question, What’s wrong with me? Why am I not a very strong individual? A lot of my experience with self-control comes out of the fitness world because I’m a group fitness instructor and I’ve been a personal trainer and have been trying to help people with their weight and their eating for years and years and years. And that’s a problem for a lot of us. Whether you say it or not, we all know what it’s like to overindulge. We all know what it’s like to not exercise when we should, or not exercise as much as we should. And so self-control—I remember when I was studying for my personal trainer exam, the self-control piece, the motivation piece, was my favorite. It’s a lot about how you can help someone determine that something’s worth working for. How do you convince this woman who loves to just sit at home at night and indulge in chocolate, how do you help her focus so much on her goal that she would be willing to set aside the chocolate? That’s hard.
Matt Tully
And that’s such an insightful thing that we’re going to get into that so often with self-control, we think of it as maybe self-denial, as saying no to bad things. And we maybe neglect and we don’t think as much about the other side of that coin, which is we have to have something we’re saying yes to that’s more powerful than what we’re saying no to. So we’ll get into that in just a minute. How would you define self-control from a biblical perspective as a Christian?
Sharonda Cooper
I thought about that quite a bit. I did some research before I wrote this section, because I think in my own mind I had a definition, but I wanted to make sure that the definition was coming from Scripture. So I did read quite a few commentaries. I read other theologians just to figure out how we are describing it and how we are explaining it. Because I think a lot of people understand self-control as it means that you are able to control yourself, that you don’t give in to things that you’re not supposed to give into. We think that when you become a Christian, God gives you the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit gives you the ability to say no to sin. Prior to you becoming a Christian, you actually were a slave to sin. That’s what the Bible says. So you couldn’t necessarily do the thing that you should do. You’re drawn to the thing that you shouldn’t do. And that still happens for Christians. But the difference is that we have the Holy Spirit, and with the Holy Spirit’s help, we can actually say no to the sin. I think in the book I do describe it as something like saying no to one thing so that you can say yes to something else. And I like to think of it that way because it’s not only self-denial. Sometimes you’re choosing between two very good things, but you have to understand how to make that decision. And that really comes from a mature understanding of the Scriptures, a mature understanding of the Christian life. It’s not cookie cutter. Different decisions will be made at different times for different reasons. But in general, self-control means that you are not easily drawn into things that are sinful. You’re not easily drawn into things that the Lord would not want you to be a part of.
06:20 - The Holy Spirit’s Role in Self-Control
Matt Tully
You mentioned the Holy Spirit a minute ago, and I would imagine all of the listeners here to us today would acknowledge the importance of the Holy Spirit for our lives. And in particular, in this issue and as we resist temptation and pursue what God has for us, we all would know that the Spirit has to be behind that work, empowering that. And yet I wonder if, and I’ll speak for myself, it feels like there are certain issues in the Christian life—and self-control, as we already said, is maybe one of those—where maybe it can be a little unclear to me sometimes. How do I think about the Spirit’s role in giving me self-control and my role in having perseverance and grit and working hard? It can feel like maybe those are at odds. We just don’t know how to weigh each of those things. So help us understand the Spirit’s role versus our role when it comes to pursuing self control.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, that’s a great question. When you were talking, I was thinking about a book that I read on the spiritual disciplines, and the author uses this analogy, imagining that you are walking beside the water. And if you walk close to the shore, water will splash on you. But if you get in the water, if you just climb in and let the water sort of come up to your neck, now you’re engrossed by the water. And he uses this to help us understand what the Lord is doing and what you are doing. So if you’re walking alongside the shore, the water will splash on you, but the Lord is inviting you to actually get in. Get in and get wet. Get completely covered with water. And I think that is a helpful way to think about this too. So the Holy Spirit is in you, but the Scriptures say to be filled with the Holy Spirit, be continuously filled, which means that the Lord wants us to come to him. Most of us try every day and ask the Lord, "Please fill me with the Holy Spirit. Please increase the gifts. Please give me the grace to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which I’ve been called. Help me to walk like Christ." So he’s there. We pray and ask for his help, but there’s still that responsibility to do something. If you continue to just walk along the shore, you’ll get the little splashes. But he invites us to come on in. Sanctification is a joint project. Justification is not. Justification is all of him. But with sanctification, he invites us to participate. Some of us participate more than others. So as far as self-control is concerned, I will give you a very simple example that will make a lot of sense. Potato chips. If I could just eat potato chips.
Matt Tully
There are a lot of people nodding their heads.
Sharonda Cooper
There’s this new potato chip that we found. It’s a tortilla chip—
Matt Tully
There’s always a new chip.
Sharonda Cooper
Oh man. It is a tortilla chip, and it’s almost like a Dorito, but it’s not cheesy. It’s just super, super flavorful. I don’t even know the name of the brand. We had our kitchen remodeled, and one of the men working on the kitchen would bring these chips every day. I was like, "What are those?" He’s eating them every day. So I bought a bag, and oh man! So our whole family has been converted. We are like into this chip. And last week I sent my husband a picture of a bag that I bought at the grocery store, and I said, "You know, one day I want to just eat these chips all day. I won’t eat anything else. I just want these chips."
Matt Tully
Breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
Sharonda Cooper
All that to say, that’s the thing that is really hard for me. And so when I think about self-control around the eating of chips, I think, Okay, the Lord has given me the Holy Spirit. I don’t have to eat all these chips. I can if I want to. He still allows me to make that decision. If I want to eat all the chips, I can. And so how does this work together? I think about how I have the ability to not eat the chips. If I decide that I don’t want to eat all the chips today, what do I do? Well, I might pour out a portion and then close up the bag. Maybe I’ll even take the bag to the garage so it’s not so easy for me to just run to the pantry and get them. I can set up some boundaries. And I do that in a lot of different issues that I struggle with. And I think that is a helpful way to think about it. We do have the ability, but we still have things that we have to put in place sometimes to help us.
Matt Tully
That’s so helpful too. I think sometimes as Christians—I don’t know if you feel this way—maybe particularly with issues like self-control, we can so spiritualize them that sometimes we neglect very simple, practical, earthly ways, in a good sense, that God might call us to be wise in how we think about these things.
Sharonda Cooper
Yes, exactly. I have a group of women that I’m discipling right now. One of the ladies is really struggling with being distracted when she reads the Bible. We meet as a group of five. We were talking to her about some of the things that she might try, because one of the things that she’s doing is she’s opening up her computer and then she’s reading Scripture on a website. But the problem with that is that there are other things on your computer that are distracting you. And so one of the ladies said, "Have you ever thought about maybe leaving your phone and your computer in another room when you are reading the Bible?" And I suggested that as well. I said, "Take a Bible with pages into a room with nothing else. You know that you have the ability to read the Bible with the computer there, but you also know that the temptation is great. So why not remove the temptation?" Go into a room with just the Bible.
Matt Tully
Sometimes we think as Christians, Well, I shouldn’t have to remove the temptation. I should just be strong enough that it doesn’t sway me anymore.
Sharonda Cooper
No.
Matt Tully
Why is that not the right way to think about this?
Sharonda Cooper
No, that’s definitely not the right way to think about it because we have to recognize that we are still in our flesh. I believe that one of these days Jesus will return, and we will have glorified bodies and we won’t have to wrestle with the flesh. But even Paul said, "Why am I doing the thing that I don’t want to do?" We have to recognize that we have to be humble and say if I sit in this room with my computer, I’m going to end up on Facebook instead of on the Bible.
Matt Tully
If I leave those chips on the counter . . .
Sharonda Cooper
I will eat the whole bag.
12:51 - A Higher Goal
Matt Tully
Let’s talk a little bit more about that issue of, yes, self-control requires often saying no to something that we might want or might feel good in the moment, but it also requires having something better—a higher goal that we’re shooting for. I just think of the all the conversations around forming those good habits. There seems like there’s even a broad, secular understanding of the importance of having not only some very concrete, practical things set in place to help us do what we say we want to do, but even having bigger picture goals in mind. So speak to that a little bit from a Christian perspective. How should we think about pursuing godliness and those ideals as we say no to bad habits?
Sharonda Cooper
I love thinking about that and I love talking about that because, in general, if you think about the Christian life, The Pilgrim’s Progress, one of our favorite books, why does he continue on the journey? It’s because he has something that he’s trying to accomplish. There’s a goal, an amazing accomplishment that he’s hoping for. And even though all of these obstacles are in his way, he perseveres through it because there is a goal at the end. I often struggle with this and that, and what I’ll say to myself is, "For the joy set before him, he endured the cross. For the joy set before him, he endured the cross." For me, there’s a goal, and there’s a goal for you. So even though those obstacles will come, if you keep your eyes fixed on the goal and you pursue the Lord and you ask for his help and his grace, he’s going to give it. He wants you to reach the goal as much as you do. So that is our overall goal, to be in the presence of the Lord on that day and to hear, "Well done, good and faithful servant." But then there are little goals along the way too. I think about my son. My son is an amazing example to us. He just graduated from high school. He’s a runner. Years ago, I think when he was in ninth grade, he was doing cross country and track, and he was good. But he was good because it was easy. He had natural talent.
Matt Tully
He was just naturally gifted towards running.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah. His coaches looked and they said, "Wow! Look at his gait. He just runs so well. It’s easy for him."
Matt Tully
I would love to know what that was like.
Sharonda Cooper
I know. I’m not a runner. But he ran a race—I think it was a state race or something—and he was lapped by two other runners who were his same age. I think they were all freshmen or something. So he was lapped. And something happened and he decided that he would start to make some sacrifices to become a better runner. And he just graduated, and at graduation he was valedictorian. He gave this speech, and he talked about the sacrifices that he had to make in order to accomplish his goal. He is going to be a runner, he’s going to run at MIT. So he met these goals, but what did it take? A lot of his classmates just think, Oh, he accomplished all these things because it’s easy for him. Well, no, it wasn’t easy. There were days he had to get up at 5am to read his Bible, then run ten miles, then come back, go to jazz band—all of these things that he had to do. But why did he do it? Because he had a goal. He wanted to be able to run. He wanted to be able to win the race. He wanted to be able to get to the end. So he’s been just a huge example to us. As you watch a child make sacrifices for a goal, it really does encourage you to do the same thing in many different ways.
16:23 - Is Self-Control Easier for Some More than Others?
Matt Tully
And what you said right there made me think about another thing that sometimes we can all feel. When we see somebody else—another Christian, let’s say—who doesn’t seem to struggle in a certain way like we might, or they seem to be further along and they seem to exhibit a lot of self-control in a certain area in a way that we don’t, it can be easy for us to maybe put them in a different category. You mentioned that you’re into fitness. I read somewhere that you’re an elite fitness trainer. It can be easy to say, "Well, that just must mean the whole fitness world must be easy for her. She’s just wired differently." Is there any truth in that? Is that a fair way to think about this, where we maybe put certain people in a category of "This is just easier for them than it would be for me"?
Sharonda Cooper
I think that sometimes things are easier. For example, I don’t struggle with getting up early in the morning. It’s never been a problem for me. I get up. I don’t hit snooze. I go to the bathroom. I get my clothes on. I do my quiet time. I go to the gym. Almost every single day. But there are a lot of people who struggle with that. That’s kind of my thing. But then there might be an area where I struggle with weakness, and another person is strong. So it’s not helpful to make those comparisons. God has wired us in different ways.
Matt Tully
And it’s not an excuse.
Sharonda Cooper
It’s not an excuse. And one of the beautiful things about the body of Christ, the beautiful thing about the local church, is that I’m weak in some areas, you’re strong in those areas, and we can actually help each other. A lot of times our pastors will ask me to help a particular person because they’re struggling with self-discipline, self-control. But there are areas in which I need help from a different person. I struggle with compassion. And so a lot of times I’m pursuing people who will sort of help me grow in that area. It’s not helpful to make the comparison, but it is helpful sometimes to call on someone who maybe has a little more expertise in a particular area to help you. There are certainly ways that we can help each other grow.
Matt Tully
And my experience, too, is that as Christians, when we are exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit, that fruit often leads to more fruit in other ways too. So self-control often begets self-control in other areas of our lives. And so there is a positive feedback loop that can happen there. So we might see someone who does seem to have some things maybe more put together than we do. That doesn’t mean it was easy, though, for them or natural.
Sharonda Cooper
And that’s a really good point that you bring up. Maybe we need to have more conversations about that because we can encourage each other. If you just see somebody who looks like they have it all together, that can be discouraging. But if you have a conversation, you realize, Oh, okay. These are the sorts of things that you had to do to get to this point. Then it’s encouraging because you think, Well, I can do that. I can do that too.
19:10 - Self-Control and Sexual Purity
Matt Tully
In your devotions on this topic, you hit on a few different areas of our lives that the Bible hits on and connects to this topic of self-control. And we’ve talked about one of them—how we care for our bodies. Scripture does speak to that a little bit. But I wanted to hit on a couple of the other areas. One of them is obviously the issue of sexuality. Scripture says a lot about that topic. Why do you think that’s such a prevalent theme in Scripture connected to self-control? And how should we as Christians think about this very sensitive topic?
Sharonda Cooper
That’s a big question. I have some ideas. Right now our children are eighteen and twenty. And we are fully aware of the cultural climate and what it’s like for people in that demographic with just all of the confusion that there is.
Matt Tully
To be a teenager over the decade is just a lot.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah. And I was also struck by how much the Scriptures talk to the issue of sexuality. Well, just recently I went to a conference and I heard a woman speak. She is an apologist, and she is trying to help the Christian community become more aware of some of the things that our children are reading and hearing and learning and the ways that we maybe have fallen behind on training them to understand the biblical view of sexuality. And so even though my children are eighteen and twenty, we are now having more conversations about this. And one of the things this woman has taught us is that your view of sex is a direct reflection of your view of God. And it’s almost like it clicked. Why does the Bible speak so much about sexuality? Why does it speak so much about purity? One man, one woman for life, and maintaining the marriage bed, and all of these things. Well, I’m starting to understand it. Even though I’m forty-nine years old. I think I just recently understood. Well, it’s because if you attack that, if you attack sexuality, if you attack God’s design for men and women, it’s a direct attack on God. It is at the foundation of everything that he designed. It starts right in Genesis 1–3. One man, one woman, the family unit—it’s just beautiful. And this is why it’s being attacked. As we create confusion in our kids, we create confusion on multiple levels. My daughter says such great things. Now that she’s twenty and on a secular college campus, she comes home with nuggets of truth that I really wish I could just disseminate to all parents everywhere at once. But she came home one day, or maybe she even texted and this may have been a phone conversation, but she said, "Mom, now I get it. I couldn’t understand why so many people were interested in pornography and so many people had such a warped view of sex. But I get it now. Their whole understanding of what sex is has come out of porn culture. That’s all they know. They think that is the highest form of intimacy." So she said, "Here’s the problem: we need them to understand that there’s something better. You guys taught us that there’s something better. God’s design is better. It’s worth waiting for. It’s worth saving yourself for. If you don’t think that there’s anything worth saving yourself for, you’re just going to give yourself away at any whim. You’re going to just pursue your own self-gratification. You’re not going to have a long view."
Matt Tully
And having the self-control to say no to those desires without there being something better that God has prepared for us, a better design that he has, those desires can be so strong that you’re just not going to be able to actually resist that.
Sharonda Cooper
Exactly. So I do think that’s a part of it. I think that’s part of the reason that the Scriptures speak so heavily about controlling your body and thinking about purity. And it is a beautiful thing. I have a friend—she’s precious. She’s an older woman, and she is single and she would love to be married someday. And her prayer is that her life would put on display the fact that she is waiting and hopeful that maybe her situation would change. But what does it look like to live in that period of waiting? What does it look like to show Christ as your treasure? And I think that is really what the Lord is asking all of us to do, whether you’re married or single. How are you displaying to the world that Christ is your treasure? If you’re single, that means you abstain. You abstain. If you’re married, that means that you prize the marriage bed. That means that you protect your marriage. All of those things are beautiful pointers to what God has designed and what a treasure it is to be with Christ and in Christ.
24:10 - Self-Control and Our Speech
Matt Tully
Another area in which all of us probably struggle with self-control at times is in how we speak to one another and the words that we choose to use. And again, the Scripture speaks to this a lot. It talks about the tongue being this flame of fire that just has the potential to do so much damage. Speak a little bit about that for us.
Sharonda Cooper
That’s another one that we see every day. I’m not really on social media very much, but I think the reason I avoid, honestly, is because I’m frustrated when I see people hurting each other—strangers even—hurting each other. But what frustrates me most, and I spoke about this at a women’s conference recently, is Christians biting Christians. That is the thing. Just recently I saw an exchange between two people, and there was a comment, and the comment was from a friend of mine that I’ve been trying to share the gospel with for years and years and years. Do you know what the conversation was? It was one Christian talking to another Christian, complaining about how bad the church is. And I’m trying to share the gospel with this person who sees this exchange and says, "That’s exactly why I don’t ever want to go to church." And I thought, What have we done? We go online, we say whatever comes to mind, we don’t realize who we’re hurting. In the Fruitful devotional, one of the things that each author was supposed to do was think about that fruit and ask, How does that fruit grow in your life? How does the Lord cultivate that fruit in your life? But then also how does it affect those around you? And when you don’t have self-control with your speech, it affects those around you big time. Think about your own family. If you come home from work and you just start spouting off things—even if you’re saying things that are fine, but in kind of a nasty tone or snarky tone—it totally affects the atmosphere in the home. If mom does that, if kids do that, if you do that at work, if you just are biting with your words to your coworkers or to your employees, it just changes the atmosphere. It’s very, very hard to get those back. Once you say the wrong thing, it’s very, very hard to take it back. And so we just need to pray that the Lord will help us stop for a moment before we speak. One of the things we told our son is just because it’s true, doesn’t mean you need to say it. Because a lot of times, little kids tell you exactly what they think. They don’t think, Oh, is this going to hurt her feelings?
Matt Tully
Right in front of the person.
Sharonda Cooper
Yeah, they just say it. And we have to teach our children to stop for a moment and think, Does it need to be said? Sometimes it absolutely needs to be said, but does it need to be said at this time? Does it need to be said in front of these people? Does it need to be said online? My personal opinion is that most of the things that we say online don’t need to be said online. They need to be said in person.
27:02 - Self-Control and the Spiritual Disciplines
Matt Tully
Maybe one other area—and this is just one that I think all of us probably at certain points of our lives have maybe struggled with, but maybe not as much right now—would be the issue of spiritual disciplines, of having self-control and discipline to then do some of these basic things that God calls us to do as believers. So that’s prayer, reading his word, fellowshiping with other Christians. Sometimes we can put those in their own category, perhaps. They feel like they’re different than saying no to chips. But is that how we should think about that?
Sharonda Cooper
No, I don’t think it’s helpful to think about it that way. Spiritual disciplines are so important. It goes back to what I said earlier about getting in the water. So when you become a Christian, the Holy spirit comes to live in you, and so, yes, you are justified. You have been made a child of God. But now you have sanctification, and that process will continue throughout the rest of your life. So it’s more helpful to think about how I can utilize these tools that God is giving me to become more like Jesus. That’s really what the disciplines are. If you think about it, Bible reading, prayer, fasting, stewardship of your time and your money, journaling—all of those things are simply tools in a toolbox that God has given you to become more like Jesus. And you can take those tools and use them as much as you want. You can read the Bible for ten minutes a day. You can read the Bible for two hours a day. During COVID, I really struggled. And so you know what I did? I needed to double the time that I’m spending in the word because I am fearful, I am anxious, and I usually am not fearful or anxious. I am depressed, and I’m never depressed. What do I need to do? Well, what I’ve learned over the years is that the Lord says, "Come to me. Bring all those things to me." So I would sit in the room for two hours just reading the Bible, and I would read other materials just to help me understand, okay, the world is on fire. I don’t want to be on fire. I need to go to the One who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. So when I think about spiritual disciplines, these are tools, and the tools are available. How much do you want to pick them up? I can pick up journaling. Maybe I want to journal for the next month because I’m really struggling, or I’m fasting this month for the salvation of one of my children, or something like that. It’s a beautiful thing that God gives you the options, and you can use them as much as you want. In different seasons of life, you may need a particular tool more than you needed it before. And so instead of thinking of it the way that you said, think about how these are tools. How am I going to utilize them?
29:43 - Advice for Those Who May Be Discouraged
Matt Tully
And that just goes back to what we started this whole conversation about. So often we focus on the duty side, we focus on saying no to our sinful flesh. And again, there’s part of that. That’s not totally wrong. But maybe we would do well to think about how we say no to say yes to something else. There’s a positive goal that’s a higher thing, which is what we’re called to do. Maybe as a final question, Sharonda, I wonder if there’s anyone listening right now who would just say, "I just feel discouraged because I just know I really struggle with self-control in multiple areas." Some of the things we’ve talked about today, they would say, "I’m just not doing it very well." And they just feel discouraged. What advice would you give to somebody who might be feeling that way right now?
Sharonda Cooper
That’s a great question to end on. I have two friends right now who are in that boat. In particular, they’re struggling with Bible reading and prayer. They don’t yet have the desire to read the Bible and pray. However, they are Christians, and they know that they should read the Bible and pray. And so they’ve come to me for help. And our approach is multi-pronged, so we’re doing a number of things. One of the things that we’re doing—the most important thing—is praying that the Lord would give them a love for his word and a love for prayer and just a love of communion with God. Some of it is teaching. I’ve taught them some techniques. I’ve given them some things to consider, ways to sort of inject the Scriptures into their life, maybe even out of the box ways. For example, I said, "You struggle with just sitting down and reading your Bible. So can you put a Scripture on a card and put it on the wall or even on the visor in your car so that every time you go to a stoplight, you just look at that Scripture. It’s only one verse, but we start somewhere. We start somewhere. So I’m trying to give them new ideas and new ways to interact with the word. But then also it’s really giving them an understanding of the beauty of Scripture. Maybe they’ve always viewed it as a chore, but I want them to view it as an opportunity for relationship. I don’t know how this happened in my own life, but a long, long time ago, someone from somewhere taught me that we go to the Scriptures to be with the Lord. It’s not a chore. So your devotions or your quiet time, whatever you want to call it, your bible reading plan, it’s not a list to be checked off. You might come to the Scriptures one day and you’re struggling in an area, and you just pour over a verse over and over again. Another day you read a whole chapter. It’s a relationship, and it’s going to look different. So I’m trying to help them understand that. I’m trying to give them reasons to go to the Scriptures. A lot of times I’m doing my devotions in the morning, and I’ll send them a text and I’ll just say, "Go to this verse. Look what I saw today." I want them to be excited about the word. So I think that, to answer your question, you need a friend, you need a friend. I believe in discipleship. love the local church. If I’m struggling in an area, what will I do? I will find somebody who understands that area of life a little better than I do and is a little further along, and I asked them to come alongside me and disciple me. And I love to do that for others. I think that is actually what the Lord would have us do. If you’re struggling, find somebody who can help you. Find somebody who can not only hold you accountable, but pour into you and walk through the struggle with you and help you get to the other side.
Matt Tully
Yeah, we don’t have to do this alone. We’re not designed to do this alone. Sharonda, thank you so much for talking with us today, sharing a little bit about your own experiences pursuing self-control. It’s empowered by the Spirit, but also something that we have to work at. We have to think carefully about it. We appreciate it.
Sharonda Cooper
Thank you.
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Podcast: Are Christians Obligated to Give 10%? (Sam Storms)
What does the Bible teaches about tithing? Are Christians still obligated to give 10% of their income today?
Podcast: Help! I Hate My Job (Jim Hamilton)
Jim Hamilton discusses what to do when you hate your job, offering encouragement for those frustrated in their work and explaining the difference between a job and a vocation.
Podcast: Calvinism 101 (Kevin DeYoung)
What are the five points of Calvinism really about and how can we believe them, while maintaining gracious humility towards others who don't?
Podcast: Christians, the LGBTQ Community, and the Call to Hospitality (Rosaria Butterfield)
Rosaria Butterfield encourages us to engage our LGBTQ neighbors for Christ, highlighting how God used the radically ordinary hospitality of Christians to draw her to himself.