The Best Premarital Advice Is Bad News

Preparing for Marriage with Realistic Expectations

I really do think that we need to take way more serious marriage preparation. I think that usually premarital classes talk about sex, finances, parenting, and communication. My perspective is that those things aren't the cause of marriage problems, they are the place where marriage problems reveal themselves. Marriage problems are really problems of the heart, and so what the Bible would tell us is that I'm naturally selfish, the DNA of sin is selfishness, and I carry that into my marriage. That selfishness makes all of those places, whether it's sex or finances or parenting or the normal decisions of everyday life or roles in the house, difficult.

Marriage

Paul David Tripp

A marriage needs something sturdier than romance. Popular author and pastor Paul David Tripp encourages readers to make 6 gospel-centered commitments with the aim of making Jesus Christ the foundation of their marriages.

So I think in marriage preparation, we need to get at the deeper heart issues, the deeper effect of sin on the way that we function, and begin to expose how sin reveals itself in the life of this potential husband and the life of this potential wife so they now go into their marriage not discouraged, but with realistic expectations and knowing they're going to need to forgive one another and need to find the grace of Christ for this comprehensive relationship that they're about to begin.

Paul David Tripp is the author of Marriage: 6 Gospel Commitments Every Couple Needs to Make.

Paul David Tripp (DMin, Westminster Theological Seminary) is a pastor, an award-winning author, and an international conference speaker. He has written numerous books, including Lead; Parenting; and the bestselling devotional New Morning Mercies. His not-for-profit ministry exists to connect the transforming power of Jesus Christ to everyday life. Tripp lives in Philadelphia with his wife, Luella, and they have four grown children.

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