The Most Radical Thing You Can Bring to Easter Dinner
Soft Hearts and Listening Ears
You look at the calendar and begin counting down the days to Easter—not with anticipation, but with angst. What should be a grateful celebration of the greatest event in history, Christ’s resurrection, is instead a time of stress as you think about getting together again with troublesome friends or family members.
Writing for Psychology Today, Joe Navarro, a twenty-five-year veteran of the FBI and member of the National Security Division’s elite Behavioral Analysis Program, notes the unavoidable presence at many family holiday gatherings of “socially toxic individuals” who “don’t care whom they inconvenience, irritate, or hurt. They are not mindful of others. If their disruptions ruin a long-awaited, carefully planned family reunion, in their eyes, so be it—and it is never their fault.”1
So, what’s a Christian to do? When we’re tempted to fire back, to finally put Uncle Louie in his place with a perfectly timed zinger? We must remember that Jesus came to redeem people like Louie—and like us: wounded, wandering, and more desperate for grace than we realize. That’s why I want to suggest a different path: peacemaking. It’s harder and often less satisfying in the moment. But in the long run, it just might soften hearts, open doors, and make room for the gospel to take root.
The Upside Down Kingdom
Chris Castaldo
The Upside Down Kingdom examines how living according to Jesus’s Beatitudes can cultivate God’s kingdom on earth as it is in heaven, bringing peace and blessing to our broken world.
The first step is to recognize others as made in the image of God. In today’s polarized culture, this can be surprisingly difficult. We’re constantly encouraged to reduce people to categories—to sort them by political affiliation, ideology, or social identity. Once labeled, those on the “other side” are no longer merely mistaken, but we view them as morally corrupt or even dangerous. Sometimes the conflict isn’t ideological but deeply personal—rooted in personality clashes, old wounds, or unresolved family tension. Whatever the source, these divisions can feel insurmountable.
The cost of such reduction is not just social—it’s deeply personal. It warps the way we see those closest to us, especially high-maintenance relatives who, if we’re honest, know how to get under our skin. But they are not opponents. They are beloved image-bearers—men and women for whom Christ died. As John Stackhouse insightfully puts it in Humble Apologetics, learning to see others through the eyes of God reshapes everything:
. . . we should sound like we really do respect the intelligence and spiritual interest and moral integrity of our neighbors. We should act as if we do see the very image of God in them. . . . It is a voice that speaks authentically out of Christian convictions about our own very real limitations and our neighbor’s very real dignity, not cynical expediency.2
In addition to seeing who they are, we must learn to recognize how their hearts ache. This means listening—not just for facts but for patterns. For underlying wounds. For quiet regrets. We listen to discern the particular malady to which the good news of Jesus can speak healing. But make no mistake: listening well is no small task. It requires intention, patience, and focus. A story from medical history illustrates the point.
Where Healing Begins
In the early 1800s, French physician René Laennec was examining a young woman suspected of having heart disease. Because of her considerable size, he couldn’t hear her heartbeat using the standard method of the day—placing his ear directly to her chest. Then, he recalled a principle from acoustics: sound travels well through hollow cylinders. Acting on a hunch, he rolled a piece of paper into a tube, placed one end on the patient’s chest, and listened through the other side. For the first time, he could easily hear the rhythm of her heart. The stethoscope was born.
Every doctor knows that healing begins with careful listening. Without truly hearing a patient, there can be no accurate diagnosis, and without a diagnosis, there can be no effective remedy. Jesus, the great physician, demonstrated this same attentiveness. When he looked upon the crowds, harassed and helpless, he didn’t rush past their pain. He saw them. He listened with his heart. And out of that attentiveness came compassion.
There’s a lesson in this for us. Healing begins with presence—and presence begins with listening.
Healing begins with presence—and presence begins with listening.
As you would expect, Jesus was an expert at identifying such cues. Whether it was at a well in Samaria or around those hated tax collectors (including the little one who climbed the tree), human hearts lay open before Christ’s compassionate gaze. For instance, Matthew says of Jesus:
When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.” (Matthew 9:36–38)
Notice the order. Jesus was moved to compassion when he saw the crowds. Such compassion was instigated by a particular observation: “they were harassed and helpless.” First Peter 3:15 reminds us of the importance of paying attention, “always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect.” Listening, coupled with a readiness to share the hope we have in Christ, is powerful and attractive.
This resurrection Sunday, let’s resolve to view our relatives not as ideological opponents to be outwitted, or irritating people to be merely tolerated; instead, let’s view them with the eyes of Christ. In other words, let’s be peacemakers—ready to notice and attentively listen, embodying the one who came not to win arguments but to save sinners—even the ones seated across the table.
Notes:
- Joe Navarro, "Ten Ways to Keep Family Members From Ruining Your Holidays," Psychology Today, https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/spycatcher/201411/ten-ways-to-keep-family-members-from-ruining-your-holidays.
- John G. Stackhouse, Jr., Humble Apologetics: Defending the Faith Today (Oxford: Oxford University Press, 2002), 134.
Chris Castaldo is the author of The Upside Down Kingdom: Wisdom for Life from the Beatitudes.
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