What Is the Ultimate Goal of Sexual Renewal?

Not Goal but Goals

The goal of sexual renewal is going to vary based on a person’s struggle. For someone who has been victimized, where sexuality is fraught with fear and anxiety, the development of faith may involve struggling against one’s inward spiral. It may involve actually reaching out to our heavenly Father and saying, "Help. I need you to protect me. Be my refuge. Hear my cry. Gather my tears. Give me courage."

The goal of sexual renewal is going to vary based on a person’s struggle.

Let’s say that person is now married, and their sexuality is still fraught with fear, tension, and anxiety. They might approach their whole life as gazing out of a lattice, thinking that people are always somehow threatening and constantly questioning if others are going to wrong them. To trust God is to reach out of that lattice and start to care about people relationally (which can include sexually) and to overcome fears and hurt in a way that allows faith to work through love. To do that requires a willingness to move toward people and not just self-protect.

If someone is dealing with their own sexual transgressions and immoralities, there’s a similar process, only faith is going to look different when asking God for help—"Help, I’ve done wrong. I'm guilty. Have mercy upon me. For your name’s sake, pardon my iniquity." And God does, and there’s a renewal of gratitude, joy, and mercy.

Situations to Flee

Then, there can be a need for renewal in cases where sexuality has been essentially predatory and you’ve been using other people for your own pleasure. There are basically three kinds of people in the world. The largest category are people that I’m to view as I would family members—my brother, my sister, my mother, my father, my grandmother, my child—where sexual line crossing is simply inappropriate. It’s not loving to act out sexually toward someone who you view as a brother or sister. The second category is that special relationship between two people: a husband and wife. In that context, sexuality is meant to be normal—naked and unashamed. The third category of people are those who have predatory instincts. They make themselves sexually available; they are on the prowl. From those people, there is a need to flee and to put up barriers.

Making All Things New

David Powlison

This book holds out hope in the midst of sexual brokenness: the grace and mercy of Jesus, supplying true, lasting mercy to both the sexually immoral and the sexually victimized.

The sexual world, instead of being a playground for desire, becomes a place where there are familial people I’m to love, protect, and cherish; there is one person perhaps (wife or husband) where sexuality is intended to be free; and there are other people that I need to beware of and to keep my distance from.

David Powlison (1949–2019) was a teacher, a counselor, and the executive director of the Christian Counseling & Educational Foundation. He received his PhD from the University of Pennsylvania and was also the senior editor of the Journal of Biblical Counseling. He wrote a number of books, including How Does Sanctification Work?; Making All Things New; and God's Grace in Your Suffering.