You Need a Plan (to Grow in Godliness)
Sit and Plan
The high spot of the Mahaney family vacation—for us women anyway—is Outlet Day. The husbands take the kids and we hit the stores. Appropriately, this shopping excursion always begins at the same southern chophouse where we make short work of that delicacy among appetizers: spinach queso dip and chips.
Critical to the success of the day is what happens while we’re chomping on the chips—the creation of a shopping plan. With about a hundred stores sprawled over who-knows-how-many acres, this requires serious consideration. We discuss which stores we each want to visit in order of importance. Then we map out a strategic course to cover the most ground as quickly as possible (including an ice cream stop halfway through the afternoon).
If we failed to make a plan, the day would be a disaster. A shopping nightmare. We would never get to the really good stores because we’d be lost or sidetracked by the cheesy ones. We’d be worn out from covering the same ground two or three times. We’d end up buying things we didn’t need and didn’t want and miss out on all the super deals. We’d never make it to the ice cream shop. Scary scenario, isn’t it?
Every woman worth her weight in coupons knows that smart shopping requires sitting down and planning first. How much more vital, then, is a strategic plan for the changing seasons of our lives? If we simply allow each new season to come along without charting a course, we could easily be sidetracked by urgent yet unimportant activities. We could wear ourselves out repeating the same mistakes and dealing with the same problems over and over. And we could potentially miss the truly significant opportunities each season has to offer.
Shopping for Time
Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Mahaney Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, Janelle Bradshaw
Women often feel overwhelmed by the many demands on their time. This book weaves biblical principles with practical tips to help women fulfill and excel in the daily responsibilities to which God has called them.
None of us wants our life to mirror a substandard shopping trip. And they don’t have to! We can make the best use of every season by applying this tip for “shopping” for time: “Sit and Plan.” The idea is to set aside an extended time once or twice a year for study, prayer, and evaluation. In other words, take a personal retreat.
Mom started taking personal retreats when Nicole and Kristin were little. As the story goes, Mom was feeling weary and burdened by the demands of motherhood. She lacked perspective and joy. So Dad sent her away for twenty-four hours to study God’s word, read encouraging motherhood books, and devise solutions for her challenging season. She returned home happy, rested, and with renewed vision for mothering. Ever since, Dad’s insisted she take two retreats per year.
When we girls reached age eleven or twelve, Mom began taking us on our own annual mini retreat. She’d come prepared with Scriptures to encourage us in our walk with the Lord. We’d talk about our devotions and one way we could grow in godliness. Mom would also draw us out about activities we wanted to pursue and ideas for how we could serve in the church. Then we’d come up with a simple little plan.
As preadolescence turned into middle school, high school, college, single years, and then engagement, Mom faithfully helped us develop a new plan for every season. Now that we’re married we take retreats on our own, but we still bring Mom in as a consultant!
Over the years, we’ve received so much benefit from personal retreats that we’re eager to commend this practice to you. We think that applying this Shopping-for-Time tip can help all of us sharpen our priorities and discern the best deals. Then we can confidently say no to many good opportunities in favor of better ones. We can avoid repetitive consequences by correcting problem areas. We can develop strategies for overcoming sin and shore up areas where we are weak. We can strengthen our relationships with others. Guided by God’s word, we can acquire clear direction and purpose for the season in front of us. All these benefits and more can transpire from a personal retreat. So why not give it a try?
Guided by God’s word, we can acquire clear direction and purpose for the season in front of us.
A Sample Retreat
In order to sit and plan, you have to hit the pause button on life. You have to get away from everyone and everything clamoring for your attention. Maybe it’s for several hours or possibly a full day, or even an overnight, depending on how much time you think you need.
And we suggest you find a place where you can be alone, a place where the boss can’t get ahold of you and the kids can’t find you. Maybe it’s as cheap and simple as a park bench or as plush as a hotel room. You can swap retreats with another mom—she watches your kids and then you return the favor. Or you might ask your husband to disentangle you from the mop and toddler long enough to spend a morning at the local coffee shop. These are just a few ideas. But did we mention it’s helpful to be alone? As you can probably tell, this requires a little advance preparation. But it’s oh-so worth it!
So what do you do once you are alone—besides stare at the wall, twiddle your thumbs, or hum catchy tunes? All that time to fill and no clue how to fill it can actually deter some women from taking a personal retreat. To help you get started, we want to offer Mom’s Sit-and-Plan strategy that we’ve all used to great advantage.
Now, of course you don’t have to use this method to evaluate your life. There are an endless number of valid techniques. Most likely your approach will be different, more your style. But we hope this plan will provide a starting point that will spark your own creative ideas.
It’s really simple. All you need is your Bible and a computer or pen and paper—whichever you’re most comfortable with. Begin by listing your priorities. Here’s Mom’s list:
- Grow in godliness.
- Love my family.
- Serve in the church.
- Fellowship with Christians.
- Evangelize non-Christians.
- Attend to my work.
- Care for my physical health.
Although your list may look slightly different, it’s important that your priorities come from God’s word and not cultural or personal preferences. We should all have similar priorities stemming from our identity as Christian women, even though we may use other words or categories to describe them. Once you’ve listed your priorities, create a separate page for each one to use as a worksheet. Then evaluate yourself, prayerfully going through the priorities one at a time. Under each category, assess how you are doing—what is going well and what needs to change. Then consider how you can grow in that key area of your life. After you’ve completed your evaluation, you’ll use this data to come up with a simple plan for your current season.
This article is adapted from Shopping for Time: How to Do It All and NOT Be Overwhelmed by Carolyn Mahaney, Nicole Mahaney Whitacre, Kristin Chesemore, and Janelle Bradshaw.
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