Why Me?
By David Powlison
Adapted from God’s Grace in Your Suffering
"Why me? Why this? Why now? Why?"
When suffering comes on us, this is often our response. Left to yourself, you blindly react. You grasp at straws. God seems invisible, silent, far away. Threat and pain and loss cry out long and loud. Faith seems inarticulate. You might mumble right answers to yourself, but it's like reading the phone book. You pray, but your words sound rote, vaguely unreal, mere pious generalities. You're caught up in a swirl of apprehension, anguish, regret, confusion, bitterness, emptiness, uncertainty.
If this describes you, listen to the words of this old hymn, "How Firm a Foundation:"
How firm a foundation, you saints of the Lord, is laid for your faith in his excellent Word! What more can he say than to you he has said, to you who for refuge to Jesus have fled?
"Fear not, I am with you, O be not dismayed;
for I am your God, and will still give you aid;
I'll strengthen you, help you, and cause you to stand, upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand.
"When through the deep waters I call you to go, the rivers of sorrow shall not overflow;
for I will be with you, your troubles to bless, and sanctify to you your deepest distress.
"When through fiery trials your pathway shall lie, my grace, all-sufficient, shall be your supply;
the flame shall not hurt you; I only design
your dross to consume and your gold to refine.
"The soul that on Jesus has leaned for repose, I will not, I will not desert to his foes;
that soul, though all hell should endeavor to shake, I'll never, no never, no never forsake."
The real God comes for you, in the flesh, in Jesus Christ, into suffering, on your behalf. He does not offer advice and perspective from afar; he steps into your significant suffering. He will see you through and work with you the whole way. He will carry you even in the most difficult situations.
This reality changes the questions that rise up from your heart. That inward-turning "Why me?" quiets down, lifts its eyes, and begins to look around. You turn outward and a new and wonderful question forms.
"Why you? Why you, Lord of life? Why would you enter this world of evils? Why would you go through loss, weakness, hard- ship, sorrow, and death? Why would you do this for me, of all people?”
But you did. You did this for the joy set before you. You did this for love. You did this showing the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ."
As that deeper question sinks home, you become joyously sane. The universe is no longer supremely about you. Yet you are not irrelevant. God's story makes you just the right size-neither too big nor too small. Everything counts and everyone matters, but the scale changes to something that makes much more sense. You face hard things. But you have already received something better, which can never be taken away. And that better something will continue to work out the whole journey long.
Why you? The question generates a heartfelt response. "Bless the Lord, 0 my soul, and do not forget any of the good things he does, who pardons all your iniquities and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with loving-kindness and compassions, who satisfies you with good things as your adornment, so that your youth is renewed like the eagle. Thank you, my Father." You are able to give true voice to a thank you amid all that is truly wrong, because all sins and all sufferings have now come under his loving-kindness.
Finally, you are prepared to pose-and to mean-an almost unimaginable question: "Why not me? Why not this? Why not now?" If in some way, your faith might serve as a three-watt night light in a very dark world, why not me? If your suffering shows forth the Savior of the world, why not me? If you have the privilege of filling up the sufferings of Christ? If he sanctifies to you your deepest distress? If you fear no evil? If he bears you in his arms? If your weakness demonstrates the power of God to save us from all that is wrong? If your honest struggle shows other strugglers how to land on their feet? If your life becomes a source of hope for others? Why not me?
Of course, you don't want to suffer, but you've become willing-like your Savior, who said, "If it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; yet not as I will, but as You will" (Matt. 26:39 NASB).
Like him, your loud cries and tears will in fact be heard by the One who saves from death. Like him, you will learn obedience through what you suffer. Like him, you will sympathize with the weaknesses of others. Like him, you will deal gently with the ignorant and wayward.
Like him, you will display faith to a faithless world, hope to a hopeless world, love to a loveless world, life to a dying world.
If all that God promises only comes true, then why not me?